X
Posted on Wed 03 December 2025
A year ago today, I went to the Standesamt (German equivalent of the register office) with my long-time girlfriend. No—not to get married. But rather, to finally fix a mistake someone had made decades ago on my birth certificate.
I’m non-binary. I’ve been out in all areas of my life for about 7–8 years, among close friends for almost 10; and I’ve been wondering about my gender identity long before that.1 For most of that time, however, it seemed impossible to get this officially acknowledged. In 2021, when the then-incoming German government announced plans to introduce gender self-determination, I was elated and anxious to see details and impatient. When the law finally came into effect in 2024, it was flawed but so much better than the slow, expensive and deeply invasive process it replaced. And, most importantly to me, it finally recognised non-binary gender identities on equal footing with binary ones.
The same night that the law came into effect, I emailed the Standesamt to register my intent to correct my gender marker. Some bureaucratic back and forth and a mandatory three-month waiting period2 later, I finally got an appointment for December 3rd, 2024. In the weeks leading up to it, I oscillated between excitement and anxiety—what if there is some unexpected hurdle? What if …? What if …? … On the day, waiting in the hallway of the Standesamt before my appointment, I was getting incredibly nervous. My heart was in my throat; I was staring at paintings hanging in the hallway but they barely registered; only holding my girlfriend’s hand helped me make it through moment after moment until—a few minutes delayed—I was invited into the office.
The appointment itself went about as well as I’d hoped. Confirm the chosen name and gender, sign the form, pay the processing fee and voila!—after a decade of waiting, I was finally, officially, government-recognisedly non-binary! 🎉
After that, it took a week or so to get a corrected birth certificate and another couple of weeks to receive a new passport which says “Geschlecht / Sex / Sexe: X”. And it’ll take many more years for certain companies or governments to recognise that X. But to hell with them. I’m proud to be non-binary. I’m proud to break their buggy databases. And today, I have an anniversary to celebrate.
💛🤍💜🖤